On choice of beverages...

"Don't drink the bath water."

On medical needs....

Brad to Hayden, upon her request for a Band-Aid for Lucy's "owie":

"She does not need a band-aid! She is not a hypochondriac like you!"

On Safety...

"Stop that! You'll put an eye out!"

Yes...I actually said that (out-loud) and even as I was saying it, I was thinking "Oh...oh....oh no...I am really about to say this."

On hygiene...

"Eye cruddies don't go on the counter. Or the chair. Or your sister."

On disagreements...

"Do not hit Lucy with the fly-swatter again!"

On potty training...

"Why are you trying to go potty in the teapot?!?"

On housecleaning...

Stop eating the dust bunnies!